remorse noun \ri -' mors\
Definition:
1) A gnawing distress arising from a sense of guilt for past wrongs.
2) Obsolete.

I wonder what kind of deity that I've pissed off so much to make me experience this turmoil. Is that You, God?

Remember the news about Kodak, a pioneer of camera industry that goes bankrupt back in the beginning of March? While I acknowledge that indeed, even a well-established, giant corporation can break down into tiny pieces, I never imagine that the same situation will happen to company I'm working for. Alas the reality has a cruel sense of humor to reveal the opposite. Today I receive a grave news from an illicit but accurate grapevine of how the company tries to be efficient by cutting down the number of employees, electricity and holding back some staffs and interns' salaries for three consecutive months! Somehow this news makes all nightmares that I've ever experienced in the current lifetime seem pale in comparison. After doing some digging and sniffing around, I think the blame can be put on numerous ludicrous projects that the holding company currently invests its fund into -- projects that only few investors are interested to know more simply because of the projects' size.

Yet the news isn't that unexpected. I should've known that it will come to this, what's with employees' whispers about efficiency and salary cut. The fact that some old employees resign on this March. I'm just being blind to see the surface, too lazy to connect the dots and too optimist to believe the recession rumors. Look where such attitudes get me now. 

And so I feel remorseful.